Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.
Brene Brown
Opening up to someone can be a daunting experience. We fear that we won’t measure up to their expectations. We cling to our feelings and try to hold our true thoughts inside. We can’t bear the thought of looking stupid. We just don’t know how they will react when they see us for who we really are.
Everyone wants to have authentic relationships and genuinely connect with those around them, but often do not for fear of other people’s criticism. Although we crave to be heard and understood, we often put up walls of protection to guard our hearts from getting broken. We just can’t risk the thought of getting hurt again. We try to act like everything is fine, when at times, it actually isn’t. These are the walls we surround ourselves with every day.
Truth is, we can’t do it on our own, we need the support of those around us. Holding everything inside and trying to tough it out on our own is damaging. We can only go so long with petty small talk. Connecting on a heart level brings a real sense of peace and joy. It’s easy to maintain a casual level of comfort in our relationships, but when we allow ourselves to open up and get out of our comfort zones, we will discover our true selves and connect with those around us. In allowing others in, we will find the support we longed to find on our own.
A lot of times we build walls because of past hurts, causing us to cling tightly to our feelings for fear of being hurt again. It could also be that we just don’t know how to communicate our thoughts and feelings to those around us, so we keep them bottled up inside. The problem with this is that it will all build up over time, and the frustration of it will soon come out. So how do we tear down the walls?
It all begins with vulnerability.
In order to have the support that we need, we have to be vulnerable. We have to find someone that we trust to pour into. Another person can see things from an angle or perspective that you do not. They can encourage you when you are struggling, build you up when you are feeling weak, and love you when you feel unlovable. They can build you up and encourage you, giving you strength to fight. These kind of connections are essential. They help us see just how much we’re like those around us. That we are all trying. That we’re all imperfect people striving to make it each day.
The Bible addresses the importance of having support from others in Ecclesiastes 4:7-12:
“I have observed yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, ‘Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?’ It is all so meaningless and depressing. Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”
Look around you. Who do you trust? Who is a genuine friend that listens to you with open heart and mind?
Make plans to get coffee or grab dinner with them. Don’t wait. Let today be the day that everything changes for the better. Stop letting your heart believe that you have to keep it all inside.
Let other people in, and your walls will come shattering down all around you.